"The Aldrheim Prophet"

Exactly what the name says it is: a rolled up edition of the wizard newspaper. Appears in Limited Edition DLC and can only be obtained with the "Bathrobe" wizard model as the default starting staff.

Pros

 * Fast swing time.
 * Has knockback.

Cons

 * Damage so low as to be inconsequential - example: hitting a villager with the Gram sword inflicts 305 damage, versus 25 for this weapon.
 * Knockback so slight as to be inconsequential.
 * One of the most - if not the most - useless starter weapons. About the only reason to ever hang onto this weapon is to brag that you got through the game without relying on a weapon's enchantments (since this one has none).