Weapon Information
Game Description: A dense read, to say the least. Perfect for fending off nosy neighbours - and squishing rogue arachnids.
Damage: Low Physical
Special: Pushes target back
Location: Limited Edition DLC, it is the default staff for the Bathrobe wizard.

Exactly what the name says it is: a rolled up edition of the wizard newspaper. Appears in Limited Edition DLC and can only be obtained with the "Bathrobe" wizard model as the default starting staff.


  • Fast swing time.
  • Has knockback.


  • Damage so low as to be inconsequential - example: hitting a villager with the Gram sword inflicts 305 damage, versus 25 for this weapon.
  • Knockback so slight as to be inconsequential.
  • One of the most - if not the most - useless starter weapons. About the only reason to ever hang onto this weapon is to brag that you got through the game without relying on a weapon's enchantments (since this one has none).
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